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for the wilder

if you've ever felt a little wilder than the rest, you are welcome here.

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what my heart wanted to share

forthewilder March 26, 2018

this is the most personal story i’ve shared this publicly.

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  • church
  • hope
  • infinite

loving opinions

forthewilder March 5, 2018

we so often talk a big game about inclusion,
and manage to find a way out of it every. time.
it gets difficult to love.

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  • mental health

you are welcome here.

forthewilder December 31, 2017

if you want to be fully you,
all of your pieces must be present.
i’m here to say they are welcome here.

Read More "you are welcome here."

  • hope
  • mental health

“To Write Love on Her Arms”

forthewilder March 30, 2018

in my darkness there have been many cracks of light. To Write Love on Her Arms introduced the idea that I was not alone. that we can make it out of the darkness, hand in hand.

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  • hope
  • mental health
  • trauma

when statistics become real humans.

forthewilder January 28, 2018

this means one in every five humans you meet have or will experience mental illness.
1 in 25, or 10 million Americans, live with a serious mental illness.

Read More "when statistics become real humans."

  • hope
  • mental health
  • trauma

through fires.

forthewilder January 23, 2018

there are no words in the moment.
the moment you are pulled out from the car,
you cannot convey what your brain is saying.
we do not use words. we hold one another.

Read More "through fires."

  • church

This is Not About How I Got Banned From a Four Campus Church.

forthewilder January 10, 2018

our mob mentalities make us feel connected and proud.
we are one and we are fierce.
we are unstoppable.
but what happens when we find ourselves on the outside?

Read More "This is Not About How I Got Banned From a Four Campus Church."

  • mental health

“new year, new me.”

forthewilder January 4, 2018

this year i was at my highest high.
and i found my lowest low.

as a hiker, i know that flow all too well.

the last six months have been what we call “recovery.”

it seems like a lifetime ago; this time last year, huh?
i was filled with hope and magic surrounded me.
invincibility seemed like normalcy and superman asked me for advice.

seasons changed and summer brought a winter i knew all too well.
my brain was my biggest enemy. i was surrounded by smoke and mirrors.
i started treatment. hard, painful, extensive, meticulous.
all words associated with growth.
i also found my freedom.
all my flowers grew back as thorns
i had to find myself and recreate the parts of me too shattered to come back.

i left no pieces behind. most of me is a mosaic of everything i’ve been through.
and aren’t we all like that?
the good, the bad, the remarkable;
every story we have is one we own.

every day there is a midnight.
tonight is the biggest midnight of the year.
the one where we feel the hope and dreams.
fear is nowhere to be found.
we all are superman on new year’s eve.
and maybe there is something true in the hype.
in the fireworks. in the magic.

six months ago i almost ended the possibility of midnight.
i would’ve never seen my nephew’s sweet smile.
and i would have never known i could love someone so much.
i would’ve missed out on rekindled friendships.
and life changing humans.
i never would’ve felt what it was like to take a billiard ball to the nose.
i almost missed reputation.
i never would’ve seen the talent in my sister’s photos.

with the help of many, i chose to stay.
at first i didn’t realize why.
and slowly i have realized that every story is important.
including my own. including yours.
against all odds, hope became real.

midnight puts magic in the air.
and with every breath we can dream something new.
as long as we are dreaming, we have something to hope for.

midnight makes it possible.
to forgive.
to hold on.
to let go.
to leave it behind.
to start again.
to fight.
to hope.

and i am here to say:
that what is true for me, is also true for you.
maybe tonight is the night you begin the story of your recovery.
change doesn’t just happen in a moment.
but it starts with a decision.
and that it something to celebrate.
that is a reason for the fireworks.

welcome to midnight.

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